Vagina Envy

I kept my eyes shut tight.  The rushing grew, and hurt my ears.  Overwhelmed, I sighed…  I felt that I was being fucked, and let my head drift back, as if supported by a cloud…

Now, dear reader, I turn to you to say I know it’s absurd for me to say I changed from man to woman and came until I vanished…

…but all curiosity about sensations in the other gender’s skin…at the height and glory of a sexual act…

…all your womanly desire to have a red-hot phallus tip, and glide it, slippery in, while another woman cries, as if your clitoris thrived and squirmed at the head of an aching pillar, which you buried in her come…

…all desire to have your sex within you…and to have it driven to acutest points, as with the deepest, wettest envies of a man…

…all these desires and curiosities within me were so filled they escaped description, except to say the pleasure was so great as to annihilate the sensate image of one’s utmost erotic wish, causing me to question how I’d ever been a man…for this crying out, this flooding…this pounding, and opening of self…of genitals, and guts, and heart, and brain…this orgasmic splitting of my spine; it was so deep that while my spirit burned blue and and hot enough to melt all else before, and all else after…I came with neither dream nor memory; I  came as neither man nor woman, I came flat-out, as sex itself…

…and at that moment-

…when my skull was changed to liquid into which I was absorbed, and lost myself, my skin, my voice, my breath and bones, which melded, one with air, as ecstasy did express itself from every follicle and pore…

and my head became the sky, and the sky my head, and a lightning storm shot through all and lit the earth, passing through the gap between my legs, which gap in turn shot up my spine…’til my head burst open with pleasurable force, and my crotch did shudder me and shake me into atoms, into air, into purest fucking…

-I was GONE.

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